Hi there!
Almost certainly, you have had some experience with anxiety. The defining factor of whether you "have anxiety" or not will be the varying degrees you experience these sensations and your ability to notice and adapt or change your thoughts, circumstances and understanding to support yourself.
After travelling all over the world, publishing 2 Amazon Best Seller books, releasing over 100 podcasts and working with 1000's humans, I have noticed predominantly three types of people in how we relate to "Anxiety" :
1. Avoiding Anxiety
2. All Consuming
3. A lifelong relationship of "managing it" ... which one are you?
I have dabbled in all of the above, and something not many people know about me is that I've suffered from anxiety for most of my life. Which one are you?
Many people who meet me now think, "that's absurd"... Outwardly (mostly), I appear calm, collected and chilled... However, often under the surface, there is an endless internal battle or conflict with this piece, part, feeling, a sensation we call anxiety, that voice in my head that doesn't stop.
I had a whirlwind weekend which included being tripled booked with three events in one day and then realising at the last minute (the night before) that I didn't have a babysitter for my little humans. This was one of those moments that sparked a feeling of inadequacy, not enough; how can I do it all? I'm a terrible mum, a useless business owner, and the downward spiral comes with those thoughts.
To get the real-time behind-the-scenes scoop, you can listen to the podcast HERE or pop over to IG story & check out the day HERE.
This expansive and activating experience gifted me the evidence that I have become Masterful at alchemising anxiety into Adventure, and instead of Suffering from/with it that I have a choice on how I meet it and relate to it, which offered me such a broad, enriched and exhilarating experience as a Business Owner, wife & mother.
7 Secrets to Avoid Anxiety Attacks
Secret 1 to Avoid Anxiety Attacks: Stop blaming yourself & others and take personal responsibility.
Secret 2 to avoid Anxiety Attacks: Ask for help
Secret 3 to avoid Anxiety Attacks: Pinpoint subconscious Expectations & internal rules which are adding more fuel and stress to your situation
Secret 4 to avoid Anxiety Attacks: Stick to your routine as much as you can
Secret 5 to avoid Anxiety Attacks: Reframe
Secret 6 to avoid Anxiety Attacks: Meet the moment
Secret 7 to avoid Anxiety Attacks: Slow down, Surrender, Release Control
In a nutshell:
1. Avoid Anxiety Attacks: Stop blaming yourself & others and take personal responsibility.
Go within and ask yourself how this circumstance came about, and rather than blame yourself or someone, simply ask:
"how can I put something in place to reduce the possibility of this occurring again" or
"If I knew what I know now, what would I do differently?"
Simply by being solution-focused rather than stressed-focused, you will ease the spiral and find yourself feeling focused, complete and back in your body to take the next step.
2. Avoid Anxiety Attacks: Ask for help.
SIMPLE. Pick up your phone, ring someone, or text someone to say, " Hey, can you help me? I'm in a pickle, and I need x,y,z?"
Sometimes it's confronting asking for help (especially when you genuinely feel like you need it)
Remember, people WANT to help you, and you have the courage to ASK.
Secret 3 to avoid Anxiety Attacks: Pinpoint subconscious Expectations & internal rules, which add more fuel and stress to your situation.
This is a BIG one ... have you ever seen that image of the iceberg under the water with the tiny tip peeping out the top and then a gigantic iceberg spanning kilometres underneath?
Well, that's what is happening in your mind right now. Part of the stress is coming because you have all these unmet, subconscious rules and regulations on how things "should be"
So ingrained into us that we don't even know what they are; we just know that we feel crap, naughty, failure, or broken if we don't meet them. Play with pinpointing them and BREAKING YOUR OWN RULES.
Secret 4 to avoid Anxiety Attacks: Stick to your routine as much as possible.
You will likely become frenetic and start "flapping", pinballing from one thing to the next in an urgent flap. SLOW down and just do THE NEXT THING in your routine. You may have to adapt it slightly to meet your experience (once again breaking your own rules), but it keeps that law of familiarity and rhythm, so you don't get too scattered.
Secret 5 to avoid Anxiety Attacks: Reframe
In my experience, I felt anxiety and then CHOSE to reframe that "anxious" feeling sensation to ADVENTURE. At the moment, the feeling stayed the same, but my embodied experience of it altered significantly. Simply by being aware and choosing something shifted.
Secret 6 to avoid Anxiety Attacks: Meet the moment
Possibly one of the hardest things to do because we like to be organised and structured, don't we? As humans, we find safety in the illusion of a structure. When you are in this state, you will cling to the structure, and it forces you to go back into old patterns (the ones that created the anxiety in the 1st place)
So we gotta cut the cord, let know everything we "think" we "know" and get to meet it again. Simultaneously the most liberating and terrifying thing to do. If you get to this point. Tighten your seatbelt. It's not for the faint-hearted.
Secret 7 to avoid Anxiety Attacks: Slow down, Surrender, Release Control
Now you did your seat belt up in Step 6, right? Cause as a human in 2022; we want to grip and control... WE WANNA KNOW! We want organisation, structure and the illusion of efficiency, productivity and perfection. Here's the thing: IT IS PERFECT the way it is, so let's stop trying to micro-manage and change, swim upstream and fully embody the Surrender offered to us by our motherhood, business, and relationships.
Anxiety visits as an initiation to the next level of leadership, legacy, impact and income and you can either keep playing in the whitewash getting tumbled around in life or swim out the back with a few solid and steady paddles and get yourself onto the WAVE
I know what I'm choosing
What are you going to choose? It's your choice, your journey, and it's YOUR LIFE!
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